CAP NEWS SATIRE EMAIL

It's CAP News satire in bite-sized email format!

And it's free!

For those who take small bites, we offer our critically acclaimed CAP News Daily, now in its 14th year of publication.

And for those who like to shove the entire cookie in their mouth all at once, we now offer the brand new CAP News Weekly for your satire reading pleasure.

We're questioning the amount of money we paid that independent marketing firm to come up with the names for each email offering.

Both the daily and weekly emails bear a striking resemblance to that screenshot to the left. The Daily is delivered each morning, Monday through Friday (some holidays excluded) and the Weekly is delivered each Monday morning.

But that's not all!

If you forward the email to 11 friends within 23 minutes of receiving it, a dancing Barack Obama will pop up on your screen and sing a random Lady Gaga song!

No, we're kidding. He'll actually sing a John Mayer song.

To begin receiving CAP News satire in your inbox, put your email address in the form below, select daily or weekly and click Submit.

It's just that easy!

Thanks for visiting, and be sure to tell a friend. Because nobody should have to endure this alone.

PRIVACY NOTICE: CAP News will not distribute or otherwise disseminate your email address to any third parties, including but not limited to spammers, hackers, gypsies and thieves. However, should the whole "satire" thing fail, we reserve the right to someday try to sell you ink jet cartridges and phentermine diet pills, because word has it people can actually make money on the Internets.

In all seriousness, however, the only way illicit parties will get your email address from CAP News would be to pry it out of our cold, dead hands. Your information is safe with us as long as we're not cold and/or dead.

For the actual legal jargon, please see our disclaimer page.

• "I laughed so hard that milk came out my roommate's nose!"
       -- Bobby W, Boston
• "Yor sight is funy."
       -- Phil K, Kentuky
• "You guys remind me of my dad. He was very funny, but he's dead now."
       -- Patty F
• "Very insightful and informative. Wait, is this dictionary.com?"
       -- The Des Moines Republican
• "I laughed so hard that I went home and beat my dog."
       -- Devin R, Austin
• "You guys made me laugh out loud. And that's not easy to do without a mouth."
       -- Ned J, Carson City
• "You guys put the 'f' in laugh. And then my spellchecker took it out."
       -- Carly P, Milwaukee
• "My brother Joey said your site was funny. Now I know why he's institutionalized."
       -- Esther M, Seattle
• "You're as funny as a box of rocks. Especially if that box falls on my ex-wife."
       -- Oliver P, Baltimore
• "You guys are the funniest thing to happen to comedy since the word 'fez'!"
       -- Frankie L, Cleveland