BUSINESS


Domino's Pizza Boosts Earnings With More Slices

Analysts had predicted a profit of 15 cents per slice, but by cutting pizzas into ten slices instead of eight, profit jumped to 27 cents per slice.

BIG BUSINESS

New York prostitute futures had climbed over 30 percent, but the rally stalled this past month as holding cell inventories posted two weeks of gains.

BIG BUSINESS

Analysts say it's unlikely that Grim Reaper Holdings can keep up its torrid pace and are anticipating a drop in business through the winter months.

ECONOMY

Democrats say Biden's improved libido is a much-needed lift for a party struggling to gain traction on hot topics like the economy and healthcare reform.

ECONOMY

Under the new program, pimps who trade in their old, worn-out prostitutes for newer, younger whores will receive up to $6,500 in cash and merchandise in return.

SPECIAL REPORT

Company officials declined to be interviewed for this story, but one executive said off the record they are investing in baby futures, not actual babies.

LAW

The 48-page complaint alleges that Google stole the four-color scheme for its Chrome OS logo from the well-known Microsoft Windows logo and should pay damages.

ECONOMY

Other uses of the stimulus money by Wall Street financiers include Cuban cigars, cocaine, mail-order products in honor of Billy Mays, and Ponzi schemes.

LAW

Burger King claims that its Kingon character, based on its King mascot, is being diluted by McDonald's attempts to cash in on Star Trek fever.

CAP PARTNERS