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Analysts had predicted a profit of 15 cents per slice, but by cutting pizzas into ten slices instead of eight, profit jumped to 27 cents per slice.
Democrats say Biden's improved libido is a much-needed lift for a party struggling to gain traction on hot topics like the economy and healthcare reform.
Under the new program, pimps who trade in their old, worn-out prostitutes for newer, younger whores will receive up to $6,500 in cash and merchandise in return.
Company officials declined to be interviewed for this story, but one executive said off the record they are investing in baby futures, not actual babies.
The 48-page complaint alleges that Google stole the four-color scheme for its Chrome OS logo from the well-known Microsoft Windows logo and should pay damages.
Other uses of the stimulus money by Wall Street financiers include Cuban cigars, cocaine, mail-order products in honor of Billy Mays, and Ponzi schemes.
Burger King claims that its Kingon character, based on its King mascot, is being diluted by McDonald's attempts to cash in on Star Trek fever.
President Obama's 2009 Halloween costume
The best photos from July.
