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MIAMI, Fla. (CAP) - Longtime football head coach and current NFL analyst Jimmy Johnson's run pitching ExtenZe 'all-natural male enhancement' pills may soon be coming to an end. In a surprise class-action lawsuit filed in Florida State Court today, a group calling itself "Don't Touch Jimmy" (DTJ) claims that Johnson was unfairly awarded the endorsement gig.
According to court documents obtained by CAP News, the group is seeking $2 million in damages and the cancellation of Johnson's contract with Maximizer Health Products, the makers of the ExtenZe pill.
"Jimmy Johnson not qualified to pitch male enhancement pills," said DTJ Chairman Pekar Wang. "He only get job because his first name and his last name are also slang words for penis.
"Well, welcome to the club on that one, Jimmy," added Wang. "We demand fair chance to audition for this lucrative endorsement spot. Pekar Wang just as good as Jimmy Johnson!"
Promising increased size and width for men, ExtenZe's sales have increased steadily since Johnson's TV commercials began airing earlier this year, despite a settlement in Orange County where the company paid $300,000 in damages for false advertising and unfair business practices.
"We're very happy with Jimmy Johnson," said Maximizer spokeswoman Hester Stahl. "Those commercial shoots can be grueling, and Jimmy Johnson has no problem going long and hard.
"Plus, isn't he just the cutest thing in that ExtenZe mascot costume?" Stahl added.
If the DTJ lawsuit is successful, the company will likely be forced to hold open auditions for their pitchman role. Additional members of DTJ include NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson, New Hampshire politician Dick Swett, the owners of Kentucky Derby horse Bologna Pony, film actor Rod Steele, American Idol contestant William Hung, and Native American activist Bald-Headed Yogurt Slinger.
"I think we win," said Wang. "We all have names that sound like penis. We all should get paid. Jimmy Johnson already rich. Time for Wang to get some."
CAP News was unable to reach Jimmy Johnson directly for comment. According to his assistant, the zipper got stuck on his costume and he was unable to come. To the phone, that is. He was unable to come to the phone.
