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Denver-Area Hookers: Yes We Did!
NEW YORK (CAP) - In what some are calling the surest sign yet of an improving economy comes word that the cost of a high caliber prostitute has hit the $1,000US mark, suggesting consumers are being more particular in their choice of whore. By the same token, the street price of a common hooker fell seven percent to just over $47 per pop.
"These numbers are mainly a reflection of the libido of the already wealthy," warned Irene Christensen, economist at Capital Economics. "Demand isn't yet strong enough to lift crude hookers out of the sub-$50 range. Right now, that sort of price level would have a negative impact on the regular john's ability to get some."
New York prostitute futures had climbed over 30 percent the previous two quarters as many laid off from the standard workforce sought employment in the oft lucrative trade. The rally stalled this past month as holding cell inventories posted two weeks of gains following increased police presence in many major metropolitan areas, forcing street prices to level off and the cost of discretion to climb rapidly.
"The industry is used to this sort of thing: a period of rapid growth, followed by unrealistic expectations about how long it will last, and then the bubble bursts prematurely," said Parker Watson, an analyst at VTB Capital in London. "It has been the same cycle for decades, yet we continue to think this time will be different."
Many blame the U.S. government's Riches For Bitches program for injecting too much unskilled labor too quickly into a marketplace already reeling from a drop in consumer confidence. Virgin-option markets show that pimps are insuring themselves against further price losses with unscrupulous bait-and-switch tactics.
"They advertise the cute blonde who's never been touched, but when someone calls for her, she isn't available," said Bell Potter Senior Client Adviser Warren Utecht. "What is offered instead is a used street walker at half the price of what that virgin would have cost.
"The thing is, the virgin never existed, and the supposed deal for the other whore is at least as much as she usually goes for," Utecht added. "Barely legal futures are sky high right now, but it's a ghost market. And nobody wants to admit they got taken."
Elsewhere, gross domestic prostitution in the European nations fell 0.2 percent from the last quarter while most Asian markets were higher yesterday, rallying on the resurgence of sex tour holidays throughout the region and bolstered by former President Clinton's recent trip to visit his old Thailand brothel.
Analysts attribute the European shrinkage to the onset of cooler weather in the northern countries and the related increase in more heavily-clad hookers. Investors are taking a wait-and-see approach ahead of the European Union's annual Report On Competitive Prostitution Implementation.
