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WASHINGTON (CAP) - In a move that has political pundits baffled, soon-to-be-named Republican presidential nominee John McCain today issued a statement endorsing Barack Obama in the upcoming November election.
"Barack Obama is the man who can lead us from the past through the present into the future," McCain said in a written statement before appearing at an Obama rally to make the announcement in person.
"By not going backwards into the former past of ourselves," the statement continued, "Obama can lead us toward the light of the potential power that we ourselves can have and will be. It is with that light that we can show the way across the vastness of the present time being and the challenges of the future that are now upon us again, not to go past, but toward!
"I support Obama and his vision of non-past futureness and fowardity!" McCain's statement concluded.
Political observers, stunned by McCain's support for his opponent and confused by his nonsensical verbiage, immediately called into question the Arizona senator's ability to continue in the presidential race.
"This is unheard of," said noted Washington insider G. Harold Pennforth. "To think that an active candidate and leader of the Republican party would come out and endorse his opponent in the middle of his own campaign - it's inexplicable.
"Clearly Sen. McCain is taking an unusual approach in this election," Pennforth added. "And by that I mean handing the election to Sen. Obama."
Members of the medical community offered an alternate explanation.
"John McCain is old as dirt," said Dr. Ahmed Fuller, chief medical officer of the Talon Medical Group. "In reality, he'd have had a better chance running in the 1904 race against William Taft and William Bryan than in this race against Obama. The 1904 crowd, that was more of McCain's scene."
If McCain follows through with his endorsement, he would become the first presidential candidate to vote against himself in the general election since Richard Nixon in 1968. Nixon at the time was quoted as saying, "I don't deserve this. I am a joke."
