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Denver-Area Hookers: Yes We Did!
KENNER, La. (CAP) - The political world was abuzz last night when news broke of a concession in the 2008 presidential election. Coming on the heels of Democratic front-runner Barack Obama's victories in South Dakota and Montana, many assumed that the breaking news notices blazing across their televisions were related to Obama's opponent, Hillary Clinton.
They were not.
"My friends, it's been a hard-fought battle, a good battle, but it was not our battle to win," John McCain told a stunned and confused crowd of supporters at a rally in Kenner, La. "It's been a long fight, even though it seems like it just started.
"By all accounts, it appears that Barack Obama has won this fight, and I salute my friend and wish him luck in these hard, hard battles to come as president," McCain added.
Barack Obama had, of course, effectively sewn up the Democratic presidential nomination with Tuesday night's wins, and many media outlets covering his historic victory and Clinton's crushing defeat found themselves fumbling to cover what one veteran newsman called "one huge clusterfucking senior moment."
The crisis was short-lived however, as McCain was back out in front of the cameras not five minutes later.
"Ha, my friends, I got you there, didn't I?" McCain yelled to his supporters, many of whom stopped chanting "2012, 2012" and began hesitantly clapping for their apparently reborn candidate. "You didn't really think I thought the election was over, didja? Not a chance, amigos. I'm going to crush that neophytic Negro come December, you just wait and see!"
While many Republican analysts laughed the incident off and applauded McCain for his youthful wit and experienced funny bone, others saw it as a possible looming danger sign for his campaign.
"McCain, he's a heck of a funny guy, don't get me wrong, but this really makes you wonder a little," said one party leader, who requested anonymity. "He conceded after Ohio/Texas, after Pennsylvania, after North Carolina, after the Zimbabwe election, West Virginia - I just worry that he's going back to the same well a little too often.
"Our candidate needs some new material, and he needs it fast," the party leader concluded.
