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SAN FRANCISCO (CAP) - Hoping to cash in on the linguistic hype surrounding Sen. Larry Craig's unfortunate bathroom encounter last summer, Levi Strauss & Co. have announced that they will begin making a new brand of jean called "Wide Stance Pants."
"We will be marketing the pants to cowboys and others who straddle things for a living, as well as men of discretion and adventure," said Levi spokesperson Janice Weiss. She denied that the pants would be solely marketed to closet homosexuals, despite a flurry of pre-advertising that seems to suggest otherwise.
"Is the closet homosexual market huge? Of course it is, but that's not who we're trying to attract with our Wide Stance Pants," Weiss said. "We're looking to farmers straddling rows in a field, Seattle residents who find themselves constantly trying to avoid puddles, men who just honestly like the feel for more space between their legs. That sort of thing."
Wide Stance Pants are specially designed with more room in the crotch, allowing a greater range of motion leg-wise and as the name implies, the ability to achieve a wider stance. Wide Stance Pants will come in regular stance and extra wide stance, which has an additional Velcro hinge built in to provide nearly 180 degrees of stance for those men who like or need it very wide.
CAP News fashion editor Chip Wyatt said that clothing lines chasing after emerging slang is nothing new.
"Look, during the Clinton impeachment years you had Wrangler's with their Knee-Knocker Knickers and Victoria Secret's Humidor Bikini Briefs. With Bush it was the Adidas' Package-Accomplished Extra-Bulky Athletic Cup," Wyatt said.
"Even now, Nike has beat Levi to the punch with their Toe-Tapper Loafer line. Levi is just jumping on the bandwagon, and you really can't blame them," Wyatt added. "Gay men are huge clothes horses, in the closet or out."
Levi expects Wide Stance Pants to be in stores by Christmas.
