CAP News | Japan: Godzilla, Not Saddam, The Real Threat

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September 02, 2008

Denver-Area Hookers: Yes We Did!

CAP NEWS SPECIAL

Japan: Godzilla, Not Saddam, The Real Threat

TOKYO, Japan (CAP) - Citing a concern that this year's Godzilla season could be one of the worst on record, Japan announced that it is pulling its 600 troops from Iraq.

"ؿ?�? ??�? ?�? ؿ?��ؿ? Godzilla ?�?? ??�?ؿ ?�???�?? ??��??ؿ ?�? hijinx ?�? ??�? ؿ?�?," Japan Defense Minister Bob Saki said Wednesday.

Strangely enough, English reporters, including CAP News' own Baldy Lauer, were able to instantly translate Saki's statement. "Our scientists have on good authority that Godzilla season be very bad, due primarily to global warming. You see, it melts block of ice he's in, resulting in much lizard hijinx."

The Coalition of the Willing expressed surprise at the announcement, but wished Japan well. They then mandated that all sushi in the Green Zone be renamed Freedom RawFish.

Longtime Godzilla live-in "friend" Mothra was unavailable for comment.

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