Friday | September 10, 2010
Acme Widgets Heralds Near-Record Loss
Acme Widget Co. CEO Robert Edwardson is applauding the fact that they will only lose $296 million this year, down from a predicted $423 million earlier this year.
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Darth Vader Doily Maker Sues Movie IndustryDarth Vader Doily Maker Sues Movie Industry

Pundits expect the lawsuit to fail but create legal headaches for the 371 billion plaintiffs.

Toyota Recalls More Cars Due To Faulty BackseatsToyota Recalls More Cars Due To Faulty Backseats

Three women have reported head injuries against the side door while prone on the backseat.

Fred\'s Science Museum Closes After Three MonthsFred's Science Museum Closes After Three Months

Owners billed the museum as "2,000 Square Feet of Scien-Terrific!" but failed miserably.

Newsmakers
Gulf Oil Spill Boon To Giant Sponge Industry
Tony Hayward

Gulf Oil Spill Boon To Giant Sponge Industry

Toyota Recalls When They Used To Make Good Cars
Akio Toyoda

Toyota Recalls When They Used To Make Good Cars

Domino\'s Pizza Boosts Earnings With More Slices
Lynn Liddle

Domino's Pizza Boosts Earnings With More Slices

Hot Topics
Cost Of A High-End Hooker Climbs Up Over $1000
Prostitution

Cost Of A High-End Hooker Climbs Up Over $1000

New York Mafia Lowers Lending Rate To 200%
Economy

New York Mafia Lowers Lending Rate To 200%

Bush To Publish Memoir As Pop-Up Book
Literature

Bush To Publish Memoir As Pop-Up Book

Newsreel
New Lowercase Numbers Will Help Boost Economy

The business community has embraced the concept, with many Fortune 500 companies planning to post their Q2 profit/loss sheets using lowercase numbers.

Wal-Mart Arms Greeters With Semi-Automatic Weapons

The move has raised eyebrows, particularly given the problems Wal-Mart encountered in 2005 when it tried outfitting greeters with Tasers to little success.

Target: 'Dead Baby Giveaway' A Typo

The ad, which appeared in last week's flier, outraged deceased infant advocacy groups, who flooded Target with critical calls and e-mails.

Google Purchases The Earth For Record $590.6 Billion

The acquisition marks the single largest purchase of a planet with inhabitants since 1922, and should be finalized within two months.

Archives
Bush Personally Removes Every New Orleans Resident Himself
Partners

COLUMN: Admit it — you wanna 'Piranha'

The other day, my son saw the commercial for Piranha 3D and had exactly the reaction you’d expect from a 9-year-ol

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