Founding Fathers Rise From Grave, Bitch-Slap Bush

"Frankly, we could not stand by and watch this anymore", said John Adams, odd bits of flesh falling from his rotting yet remarkably well-preserved carcass.

REAL ESTATE

Not a single new shopping mall project was submitted for public review last year, as investors take a wait-and-see approach in the region.

CAP NEWS BULLETIN

The owner found himself embroiled in several lawsuits, such as when a dozen children were injured by falling apples in "Newton's House of Gravity."

RADIO

"He's a circle, for Christ sake," Imus fumed on the air. "If you ask me, those circles are lazy sons of bitches, all of them. What an a-hole."

ECONOMY

In the profanity-laced video, the West Coast-tinged hip-hop style of Greenspan flows almost effortlessly as he rips through rhymes about Bernanke.

FINANCE

Many families across the country are now just in shock and unsure how they're going to help Hillary out of debt and still make ends meet themselves.

NUTRITION

According to new research, eating a big breakfast, heavy in carbs, is the key to keeping slim, as long as you regurgitate the meal afterwards.

CAP NEWS EXTRA

Under McCain's proposal, voters who declare themselves as Democrat would be branded with a letter 'D' in order to tell them apart from "real Americans."

MUSIC

Stewart acknowledged that he has dropped even the semblance of originality, recording only albums of songs by other artists, many of them dead.

 



» BASKETBALL BETTING
Sports betting and online NBA basketball betting at superbook.com
» CONVERT FILM TO DVD
Video Conversion Experts has been transferring film and video for over 25 years
» MOBILE HOME FINANCING
Specializing in mobile/manufactured home financing and refinancing in parks and on leased land
» BEST CASINOS ONLINE
Reviews of online casinos
» ONLINE CASINO
The best online casino gambling site.
» VERIZON OFFERS
Phone, internet, television and more
» HOME LOAN
Getsmart is a leading online financial marketplace, focused on smart consumers in a hurry.