MEDICINE

Disney's newest attraction, The Swine Flume

Disney To Offer 'Fast Pass' For Swine Flu Vaccine

ORLANDO, Fla. (CAP) - Citing the growing sense of concern over the availability of the H1N1 or "swine flu" vaccine, Walt Disney World has introduced a "Swine Flu Fast Pass" that will allow Disney patrons to step ahead of others to receive their inoculations.

"As incidence of the disease becomes more prevalent, parents are growing increasingly anxious," said Karl Metterschmidt, Disney's vice president of health and human services. "By using our Swine Flu Fast Pass, you can ensure that your child gets this potentially life-saving vaccination, and create magical memories in one of our theme parks at the same time!"

The Swine Flu Fast Pass is available to anyone who purchases at least a Five-Day Park Hopper Bonus Ticket and stays in a Disney resort classified as "moderate" or better. This means visitors who stay in the value resorts or the campgrounds are not eligible, noted Metterschmidt.

"But we guarantee you'll be glad if you choose to stay in some of our more luxurious accommodations," he said, citing Disney's Polynesian Resort and the Grand Floridian Resort & Spa as examples. "It may cost a little more, but isn't it worth it for your child's well-being? Hmm?"

As an added bonus, to allay the fears of young visitors, all shots "will be administered by beloved Disney characters, like Winnie the Pooh and Pumba from The Lion King," said Metterschmidt. All will be trained by licensed Disney health professionals, he added, and the syringes will be soldered to their hands, paws and/or hooves to ensure maximum stability.

The plan has raised concerns in some corners, with several critics noting the incident in 2007 when anger over the perceived exclusionary nature of the Fast Pass system caused a riot among park patrons.

"That was an unfortunate incident, but I assure you that we've taken all the proper precautions," said Metterschmidt, noting that members of the Disney Military Police Unit will be issued extra truncheons for the duration of the program. "And I'll remind you that the characters will all be armed with syringes."

The plan has also drawn criticism from the White House, where President Obama declared the swine flu to be a national emergency last week.

"The vaccination program is about getting vital preventative care for the, you know, people who need it most," said Obama when asked about the Disney program. He said what Disney is doing could be considered discriminatory to all the people who can't afford the deluxe package, or even to go to the park in the first place.

"Now I'm feeling kind of bad we gave them all that bailout money," said Obama.

Metterschmidt dismissed the criticism, however, noting that a Disney World experience has always been about getting "something extra."

"Let's face it, getting vaccinated has never been this magical," he said. "There's never been a better time to visit a Disney theme park, because if you don't you might die."