WASHINGTON

Kanye West Bursts Onto Floor Of Senate

WASHINGTON (CAP) - Both Democrats and Republicans alike sat speechless on the floor of the Senate yesterday as churlish rapper Kanye West charged into the Senate chambers, rushed up to the podium, and grabbed the microphone from Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME), who was expressing concern to her fellow senators over the pricetag of the president's healthcare plan.

"I'm sorry, Olympia, I'mma let you finish, but President Obama has one of the best healthcare packages of all time!" West blurted out to the stunned crowd. "Give it up for the O-man's healthcare plan, yo!"

As he handed the microphone back to Snowe, West gave a fist-pump and yelled out, "Kanye in da hiz house!" after which he was quickly informed by armed security guards that he was actually in the shizenate. Once West was removed by the guards, Snowe attempted to continue her spiel, but those present said the wind had clearly been taken out of her sails.

"I was speaking and I was really excited because nobody ever pays attention to the senators from Maine, and then I was really excited because I thought Kanye West wanted to meet me," Snowe recalled after the session concluded. "And then I wasn't excited anymore after that.

"In fact, I don't really care about healthcare at all anymore," Snowe added. "I think I'll just suggest that we give ourselves a raise instead."

Political pundits say West's outburst could drive a stake further into the heart of any healthcare consensus and question whether he acted alone or was goaded by a secret society of Republicans intent on ensuring that Obama's tenure as president is remembered as nothing more than a reign of chaos.

"You lie!" Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) told CAP News when confronted with the idea that West was merely a patsy for a larger Republican scheme to deface Obama's presidency. "We Republicans can't organize ourselves out of a paper bag, let alone something on the scale you're talking about.

"Besides, we don't really get along with blacks," Wilson added before cutting the interview short in order to deliver the keynote address to the annual gathering of the Tourette's Sufferers of America.

For his part, West was apologetic about the incident, saying he wished he had interrupted Sen. Lindsey Graham instead because "that blowhard phony baloney wouldn't know a healthcare plan if it fell out of the sky, landed on his face, and started to wiggle around."

This isn't the first time West has grabbed the spotlight due to childish antics. Viewers of MTV's Video Music Awards may remember the time he hopped up on stage while Madonna and Britney Spears shared a kiss, yelling that Beyonce "has one of the best French kisses of the whole decade."