ELECTION 2008

Dems Get Early Start On Blame For Obama Loss

WASHINGTON (CAP) - The Democratic Party has gotten an early jump on determining who to blame for losing the upcoming presidential election, according to several top Democratic analysts.

"Typically the Democrats don't start assigning blame until several weeks before they lose the election - a month, tops," said Bob Monks, a senior analyst at New School Communications. "The fact that they're starting this early is reflective of the party's new sense of determination, albeit a losing sense."

According to Monks and other analysts, the Democrats' self-flagellation process actually began even earlier, perhaps as early as Sept. 5, immediately after the Republican National Convention. As evidence, they point to several recent Huffington Post headlines: "Wait, what happened?" (Sept. 5); "OMG, we're gonna lose this frickin' thing" (Sept 8); "Why does this always happen to us? Why?" (Sept. 10); and "We hate ourselves and we wish we were dead, again" (Sept. 13).

But this week, the party seems to have wasted no time in trying to shift blame for the inevitable loss away from themselves and onto other sources.

"I'll admit it's a challenge determining exactly where to place the blame," said West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, chairman of the Democratic Governors' Association (DGA), citing election fraud and "swiftboating" as two likely possibilities. "And of course with this election, we also have racism," he added. "We're feeling we really may have a winner with that one."

Several Democratic operatives who declined to be named also pointed to the possibility of blaming the loss on an offensive remark that vice presidential candidate Joe Biden is bound to make in the coming weeks. "It's only a matter of time before he compares Sarah Palin to a Hooters Girl," said one operative.

Several observers have pointed to Republican vice presidential candidate Palin as an obvious source of blame, but DNC chairman Howard Dean declined to comment on Palin's role in his party's upcoming loss, preferring instead to emit a frightening, high-pitched scream.

Republicans, for their part, are following the Democrats' lead by getting a jump on taking credit for their upcoming victory.

"My campaign advisors really did a terrific job," said presumptive Republican President John McCain. "But I really give credit to the American people, who realize that I'm going to wrest power from the old, big-spending, do-nothing, country-second Republicans, and give it to us, whoever we are."

According to several high ranking GOP officials, the Republicans also plan to start next week on blaming the Democratic Congress for everything they won't be able to get done while in office.

For his part, presumptive Democratic loser Barack Obama expressed consternation at the turn the process has taken. "This is exactly what we're trying to change - the politics of cynicism. The American people know that this isn't over until it's over," said Obama. "That being said, it's over."